This New Year, make the resolution to stop codependency.
If you are in a codependent relationship, you spent last year putting another adult’s drug abuse above your own well being. You might have made up excuses for the drug abuse. You may have even spent the last 12 months trying to convince yourself that the drug abuse did not affect you or ignored the devastating consequences that another person’s drug abuse has had on your life.
Will you spend another year struggling with codependency?
Leave Behind Your Old Codependent Life
Recognizing codependent behavior is the first step to controlling it. You might put more into this relationship than you get in return. You might have low self-esteem where you constantly compare yourself to others or feel you are not good enough to be with someone who does not abuse drugs. As a natural people-pleaser, you might have a hard time saying “No” even when you know it is the right thing to do.
You may just be afraid of being alone. If you are like many codependent people, you may be afraid the other person will leave once he sobers up enough to see your imperfections.
Control is also an important aspect of codependency. If you are like most people, you like to feel that you are in control of your life. Losing control brings uncertainty and chaos. In a codependent relationship involving drug dependence or addiction, each party relies on the others to act within the accepted boundaries, where the drug-dependent person relies on caretakers to act responsibly and the caretakers depend on the drug-dependent person to remain on drugs. When any player acts outside the accepted boundaries of the codependent relationship, either by quitting the role of the caretaker drug abuser, the relationship falls into chaos and uncertainty.
You may be afraid of introducing this chaos into your peaceful, stable, drug-abusing home.
Sometimes, however, you must face chaos and uncertainty to reach a happier, healthier state. This is especially true when you or someone you love wants to live a drug-free life, which is possible only after undergoing detoxification and aftercare. Drug treatment, psychotherapy and behavior modification help drug-addicted and drug-dependent people and their families disrupt the codependent behaviors that might otherwise perpetuate drug abuse.
Disrupting codependency gives everyone in the relationship – especially you – the self-confidence necessary to make real and lasting changes. Each individual learns how to care for himself while still providing the healthy support that allows others to lead full and independent lives.
Quitting codependent behaviors can be frightening and uncomfortable as each person tests the boundaries of his abilities, no longer acting merely as reflection of others.
Sobriety does disrupt the stable codependent relationship in a significant way. Especially unhealthy relationships may end. Changing drug abuse and codependent behavior, however, usually changes lives for the better. Treatment stops dangerous drug abuse while disrupting codependent behaviors that keep all parties from achieving their full potential.
This year, give the gift of a drug-free life to yourself or someone you love by disrupting codependency. If you are dependent or addicted to drugs, seek treatment. If you are in a codependent relationship with someone who abuses drugs, encourage her to seek treatment. Start the New Year with a new life free from drug abuse and codependency.